


Don't leave me.

by BoyGirlBothNoneImTheUniverse



Series: Heart Heart Heartbreak [4]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Accidental Death, Angst, Character Death, M/M, Sadness, ahhha, i hope you all cry, i wanted someone to die, idk pining?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-05
Updated: 2013-07-05
Packaged: 2017-12-17 18:18:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/870540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoyGirlBothNoneImTheUniverse/pseuds/BoyGirlBothNoneImTheUniverse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They don't talk about it; never really did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't leave me.

They don't talk about it; never really did. They don't talk about it during practice or at team dinners or even when it's just two teammates hanging out.

Saad took it hard. His role model, dead. He had started looking to Kaner just a little before the accident, but it took none of the shock and pain away.

Sharpy was quiet. So were Duncs and Seabs. They stuck together most of the time, a silent exchange or mourning and concerned glances for their sad team.

Kaner was the worst though. There were bags under his eyes, his voice basically nonexistent In the rare chatter in the locker room. His play hasn't suffered, not after the initial week of shock, but he no longer has his flare. He doesn't talk to his family that often, sometimes he completely ignores their calls, just so he doesn't have to hear their 'I'm sorry's. 

Kaner will turn his phone off, unplug his rarely used home phone, turn off all electronics and just sit in his bed, staring up at the blank ceiling hovering above him.

The day Jonny died, they'd gotten into a fight over his girlfriend. Jonny had been upset because Kaner had continued to refuse his requests of all of them spending time together. It was rather anti-climatic when later that night Kaner had finally snapped and told Jonny. Told him how he loved him. That he didn't want to be around the 'perfection' that was Jonny's girl. Then Jonny had called him an idiot. Had told him that he loved Kaner too. That Jonny had just been waiting for Kaner to get with the program. Kaner had told Jonny, told him to come over, now.

But he never made it.

The report told of a mugging. Not Jonny, no. Of a nameless citizen who was getting robbed in an alley. Jonny had decided to walk to Kaner's, who knows fucking why, and had stumbled upon the scene. He'd stopped and tried to help the struggling girl. In the struggle, the girl had gotten the gun the man had been using to threaten her with. She fired two shots at the mugger. One clipped his shoulder. The other went straight through Jonny's chest.

It had been an accident. The girl cried and cried from what Kaner heard, cried over the mugging, what could have happened, what _did_ happen. She sent her condolences to Jonny's family. She even sent one out to the team, apologizing over and over, begging for forgiveness that was already hers. She hadn't meant to do it, and Kaner doesn't fault her or blame her, but he certainly never wants to hear from her again. No he doesn't blame her. 

After all, it was his fault.

He was the one that spilled his feeling to Jonny. He was the one that asked him to come over, right that instance, not taking no for an answer. It was his fault and he'd learned to accept it.

Kaner never told anyone why Jonny was out walking. He told the police that Jonny was coming over to his house, but he never said why. Never told Jonny's parents that Kaner loved their son and that their son loved him in return. Never told his family that Kaner had just lost someone so close to him. That he was drowning in the loss and he wasn't even trying to swim. He never told the team, not even Sharpy, that Tazer had been so excited to come over. So excited to finally have a chance to be with him. He hadn't put up much of a fight when Kaner had asked him over. Not even a tiny one, really.

So they don't talk about. They don't talk about how no one knows why Jonny was out that late. No one knows why Kaner is distancing himself, why he doesn't talk or interact. No one knows that he's to blame for this sharp pain they all carry. 

They don't talk about it because no one knows it was all Kaner's fault.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted someone to die. So I killed Jonny. Happy 4th of July.


End file.
